One Million Dollars Guaranteed

I have an important announcement to make. Due to a series of events too complicated to discuss; so complicated in fact that I may not even vaguely allude to them, I am proud and excited to make the following announcement:

The next reader to post a comment in this blog will receive 1 MILLION DOLLARS!!!*

Fuck Party - here's the real way to win One Million Dollars online!!!**

That's right loyal readers - for merely acknowledging the existence of this blog, you will be able to change the material and existential conditions of your life!!!***

But that's not all - in addition to a bank balance now soaring spectacularly into the black*, you will receive two weeks accommodation, a plane ticket to Vegas AND a seat in the WSOP event of your choice!!!****

And if all this wasn't enough to make you squeal with glee and moisten your pants in anticipation; after you've checked into your luxury suite at the Bellagio, you will find a specially prepared WSOP/Las Vegas welcome package that includes the following: TWO Celine Dion tickets*****, ONE set of crystal glasses (with decanter), SIX HUNDRED green M&Ms, ONE pound of crack cocaine, TWO crack whores (and pipe), FOUR cases of Guinness, THREE hens-a-laying, AND FOUR signed prescriptions for Dutch Boyd's anti-psychosis medication.******

So read on my brothers and sisters, inhale every sacred scent, every spore of wisdom this blog has to offer - and comment freely and often. The rewards will be enduring and innumerable.













* Cheque will not be honoured
** Chance of winning one million dollars by commenting on this blog is approximately equal to your chances of winning one million dollars on Party Poker
*** Results may vary. Please note that money - whether it be real or imaginary - is unlikely to change your existential mindset. This is because most of you approach life with what Sartre referred to as 'bad faith'. In essence, this means you really will never change, and the mistakes you made as a child and on through adolescence are destined to be repeated.
**** Plane ticket must be collected from Broken Hill Airport, New South Wales, Australia. WSOP seat cannot be redeemed prior to the year 3216 or Robert Vakonyi winning another event at the WSOP, which ever comes first.
***** Tickets to Celine Dion may be substituted with round-house kick to groin, if preferred by the winner.
****** Mr Boyd, of his own free will, exchanged medication prescriptions with the Royal Sampler for a kranksy dog, the 'brown' acid, some magic beans, and two Celine Dion tickets.